When I go to bed I always say my prayers but in a silent way. I imagine talking to God and He’s answering me. So, I make the sign of the cross as I have been taught in my Catholic Doctrina and dial G-O-D in my mind…

Me: Hello God?

God: Yes, what’s up?

Me: I didn’t know you would be available.

God: Well, you called in a Code Red like in the TV series when they’re being overwhelmed.

Me: I just want to pray for my family and friends.

God: Why?

Me: Well, they’re having a hard time.

God: Are you worried about them?

Me: Yes, they’re my friends and they asked me to pray for them.

God: Can’t they pray for themselves?

Me: I don’t know.

God: Well, let me worry about them and you tend to yourself.

Me: I really don’t have any issues.

God: You got to be kidding me! How about your diabetes, your high cholesterol, your high blood pressure?

Me: I take medicine for it.

God: Well, good for you. What else do you want to talk about? You called me, remember?

Me: I’m concerned about the priest abuse situation.

God: For your information, those men brought their baggage with them and they made a choice of continuing their addiction. In their end time, I will take care of them.

Me: How are you going to do it?

God: Let’s just say that because I am Great and Powerful, I’ll handle it.

Me: Ok, how about the migrant situation?

God: What! Are you worried about the whole world’s situations?

Me: No, it’s just that I’m worried about them.

God: I don’t think you should be worried. Be concerned about it but let the powers that be worry.

Me: Ok, I’ll try.

God: How are you doing spiritually?

Me: I go to church regularly.

God: Yes, you do. I know what you do.

Me: What do you mean.

God: I am God so; I know everything about you.

Me: Sorry.

God: You know the word, “Repent”? The word written on signs and billboards?

Me: Yes, I’ve seen them.

God: Well, that’s what I want everybody to do.

Me: Well, we have Confession in the Catholic church.

God: Yes, but nobody goes there except a few believing Christians. But since we’re at it, I want people to really repent by saying the prayers that the priest administers after Confession. Focus on Mary and Jesus because they’re my go-to guys. They have a great influence.

Me: How about the other saints?

God: They’re ok but if the priest sends you to Mary, you really have to convince her to mediate for you.

Me: I’ll try.

God: As Yoda says: “Do or do not. There is no try.”

Me: What about the people that don’t go to Confession?

God: It’s a choice they make.

Me: How about the babies that are being aborted?

God: I abhor it for whatever reason they give.

Me: They have a choice.

God: No, they have free will.

Me: Father, I understand what you’re saying.

God: Now you’re talking! You called me Father. I don’t like it when people exclaim “Oh my God”! or OMG. I go “huh?” but they’re not talking to me.

Me: I need to go to sleep.

God: Good, I need to revitalize your body while you sleep. So, we’ll talk tomorrow, ok?

Me: You willing, I’ll be here.