I am not an expert in discussing love and marriage but I’d like to share my opinion on both subjects.
What is love? Scientist say there is a chemical reaction between two people. We don’t know really. However, when two people meet, there is something that attracts them to each other. Something that makes them keep coming back to each other. That attraction may be a pretty face, a twinkle of the eye, physical attributes or the like.
There is the usual courting where both persons look their best and present their side. At this time, it should be a way of developing intimacy and learning about each other but they’re too enamored to see the difference in each other. Love is blind, they say.
So, after sufficient time, they plan to get married. Love is still in the picture however, there is still the preparations for the nuptials. So, if I make a love cookie which crumbles every time there is a conflict, it would start to crumble around that time.
Take for instance, the wedding date or rather the place, the food and the invitations. If two people are really in love, they would survive this ordeal. But afterward, would they be prepared for the honeymoon? What are the expectations of the couple when finally, they experience intimacy? This is one area which shatters the love being. That’s if they “hadn’t known” each other before that.
There’s a time when couples realized that the honeymoon is over when they start experiencing a daily routine. Nowadays, both couples work and both have income coming in. Money issues come up where they have to decide where the money going to go. Whose money is going to be used for living expenses or bills to be paid. The cookie is starting to crumble if they don’t compromise. Maybe a joint account?
When couples get engage, they should start talking about starting a family and how many children they want to have. However, if they don’t and they get an unexpected surprised, are they ready for this? There is now a scramble to economize for the future. Will it be a boy or girl? Will they survive the newly arrival? The attention now shifts to the child and there will be resentment or acceptance. The love cookie will be getting a nick.
In every couple family life, there are problems that will come up. Problems with the in laws. Will they be living with us or are they visiting? Who is taking out the garbage? Washing dishes? Whose relatives are we visiting this holidays? How many gifts are we giving this year? The love cookie is almost bitten n half.
After so many years’ couples fall into a pattern where they recognize their living habits of each other and go through the motions of accepting them. Sometimes they bore each other. The love cookie is being shattered. It’s almost like each of them believe there’s some love there but they don’t show it.
When health problems come up, this is where real love come to the front. Support is needed and depending on the realization of how severe the problem is, couples should help. By now the love cookie is almost gone and somehow they need to bake that love cookie again and start all over again by understanding that life will offer them all the trials and tribulations and only love will overcome every situation that come their way. Like they say, “love conquers all”.