Why do you go to church?

  There was a man who was just getting ready for bed when the phone rang. He answered it and it was a friend who had been buried a month ago. It was a facetime call so he could see who it was. “How can this be”? He asked. “look, he said. I’m just calling you to let you know you’re a candidate for hell”. “How can you be calling me? You’re dead”. His friend answered, “I’m new here and the big man himself gave me this cell phone to call up anybody who I think might be a person who’ll be with me and I’m calling you so you can join me”. He replied, “I don’t think so. Who are all those people with you”?  “Oh, those? They’re in line waiting to be analyze. “See, there are three doors up ahead marked Warm, Hot and Hotter. After they analyze you, they get a ticket to let them know which door they’re going through”.

  After more discussion, he said, “I don’t know about you but I’m a lifelong Christian and I belong to a Christian church so I don’t think I’ll be joining you there”.  “Look, his friend replied, the guy in charge here, he knows a lot about you. He got little demons up there to report to him on what you’re doing and the news is not too good”. “What do you mean”? “Well, he said, remember all those things you’re to follow to be a good Christian? You’re not doing it”. Not only that, your personal life is a mess”. He countered, “I go to church every Sunday and I pray for everybody. I help the homeless and I’m a good father”. His friend asked, “how about your offerings? You don’t give your ten percent. However, you seem to be giving lip service and by the way, why are you even going to church? He answered, “because I was told to go to church every Sunday and I follow the rules”. He replied, “Here we go, step one to get you here. Now, how about your prayer life? Do you pray often”?  He answered, “Not often, sometimes, maybe, but I do pray.” “What I’m saying” his friend replied, “is that you’re not meaning what you pray, you get distracted by other things in your mind. That’s what I mean by giving lip service. Step two to joining me”.

  The discussion went on for a while and this finally went on to his activities outside the church. “you know that the demons here are reporting on all aspects of your life. Your principles and your moral life which make you a better candidate for your permanent visit here”. “That’s nobody’s business but my own”, he replied. I really don’t care about anybody else except for my family”. So, I’ve cut a few corners to get a profit. I do it for the family”. “yes, you do” his friend said, even to the point of lying and cheating and cutting deals and falsifying records to make you look good to your supervisors. How is that reflecting on your family life? You spend so much time at work making a profit that you forgot about your children”.

  His friend continued, “The demons here have got a record on your goings and comings that should make you an outstanding candidate, however, you’re not elected. There is time for you to change your ways. I’ve already told you about your weaknesses and your lifestyle. Really, I don’t want you here with me even if you’re my friend”. He hung up

  Later one of the demons came up to him and asked, “how did it go?” “It went well, I scared him to death.” “Good, maybe we’ll get him sooner than later”, the demon replied. “here’s your ticket. You’ll get a warm door for helping out”. The man replied, “I don’t think so. If he does what I requested he might avoid this place, but thanks for the hot seat anyway”

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