I am now giving some words of wisdom for prospective couples who are contemplating marriage. As you might recalled, I had written earlier on surviving 50 or more years of marriage. Believe me, those tips do work, especially for me.
Let’s start with the engagement period which could take a month to three or more years. They’re call long engagement which probably means you’ll never get married or short engagements which means you’ll probably elope or get a quickie marriage in Las Vegas because you can’t wait.
Now, I say this because I had to wait a while to get married and my wife and I had a courtship by mail. I was at West Point, New York and she was in San Antonio, Texas. So, I didn’t really get to know her until we got together in Panama.
By that, I mean that she had her own ideas of how our marriage was to work. I understand now that most of her knowledge came from the way her parents live. Family came first. On the other hand I never had an idea of what I was supposed to do as a married couple. I watch the Donna Reed show on TV and I thought her husband exemplified how a husband should act. Surprise! He was just like me, Dumbfounded.
First of, I recommend that when you’re engaged. Commit yourself to the idea that you’ll get married. Go out without your parents and learn everything you should know about your prospective bride/Groom. Does he/she have a wooden leg? Is she blind without her glasses? Can he/she swim? Does he/she has allergies? Can he/she dance? How many children does he/she want to have? All these question you need to know way before or after you get engage especially who’s going to handle the money.
I can tell you that we didn’t have those conversations and as we went along, we got to know each other’s dreams and desires. We were lucky but, what if we didn’t agree? She had thought about it and brought a round trip ticket just in case. She handles the money now because she is better at it than I. Income tax? What’s that?
Our marriage has not always been a two way street. I come where the man is in charge of the family and I, at the beginning tried to follow what I saw in my parents’ household. That didn’t work. Somehow or other we compromised as we got along. She has been respectful enough to talk about a project together so we can make a decision.
Seriously, marriage is a commitment to another adult who are in love with each other. You have to adjust to their whims and their logic and everything that goes with their life style i.e religion, eating habits, dress and hygiene. So, good luck!
One thought on “Marriage”
We just celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary, so I definitely agree with you when it comes to the issue of compromise. Two individuals trying to impose their will on the other will never be as effective as two working as one. Great post dad! ~ Martin